Comfort, grace, joy, and gratitude

 

My Mom sent me and my brothers the following e-mail on Saturday, October 17, 2009.

Do you know, my family, what tomorrow is? It is your sister, Dorothy Anne's birthday!! Even if she wasn't alive on this her birthday (she was stillborn), I have been thinking about her all week!!  What would she have looked like now, what kind of a person would she be, would she be a help or otherwise to me?

But we won't know will we, until we see her in Heaven!  Yes, she is definitely in Heaven (because she was baptized by the nurse at the time of delivery) and so she can pray for all of us struggling here below!

She is up there with Our Lord and our and her Blessed Mother, and her Grandmother Batty, with whom she shares her birthday!  Tomorrow or tonight when you say your prayers or tomorrow (or tonight) when you go to Mass remember her for me will you??

Love, Mom

Mom’s letter got me reflecting about a deep subject that’s easy to describe but extremely difficult to comprehend; our temporal understanding of the universe, and God’s eternal “now and forever”, or “now and always”.

Even though Dorothy and Grandma both went to Heaven several years ago as we measure time, to Jesus they’re just “now and always” coming into His merciful embrace.  So any prayers we say for them today are as “fresh” as they would be if we said them then!

Since it’s their shared birthday, it’s appropriate that I relate what both of them mean to me even now, after all these years.

I don’t remember Grandma her ever raising her voice or using harsh words.  Whenever I heard her speak of our Catholic faith, which was often, I could feel the joy emanating from her.  What I remember most is her commitment to Christ (first) and her family, her prayers, and her humility.  I credit her and my mother most for introducing me to what a prayer life should look like and what I should strive for.  Grandma had that perfect mix of non-verbal evangelization Saint Francis alludes to and the ‘hard-core’ evangelization of the disciples Jesus sent out in the Gospels (Matthew 10, Luke 9, Mark 6).

I think Grandma’s faith—and the faith of those whose lives she touched was the reason she survived the Spanish Flu in Autumn of 1918.  Doctors told my grandfather and my grandma’s mother to “go home and make arrangements” because she was not expected to survive the night—and the child she was carrying (my mother) likely would not survive either.

They were devastated but they started contacting family and friends to pray for Grandma, and had the priest come in to give her Viaticum.  The priest mentioned that there was a recently canonized saint (Saint Gerard) who was the patron saint of new mothers and difficult pregnancies.  Providentially, there was a relic of St. Gerard in town (as happens sometimes) that Grandpa was somehow able to borrow.  Grandpa took the relic to the hospital and placed the relic on Grandma’s stomach.  They spent the evening in prayer praying the Rosary and asking for St. Gerard’s intercession to our Lord for a miracle survival.

The next morning, the doctor was amazed that Grandma was still alive, and in fact so much improved that the prognosis for her survival (and that of my mother) was good, and she could go home in a couple of days!   

 As Catholics, we’re taught to have a ‘joyful hope’ that our loved ones are in Heaven.  I have more than a ‘hope’ when it comes to Grandma, because of a first-hand experience I only related to my mom once—and she took it in stride as if she would expect nothing less!  The experience sent chills down my spine when it happened but at the same time it strengthened my belief that Jesus sends us what we need when we need it the most.

The night before my brother Tom died, I was in the hospital room alone with him.  He was in and out of sleep and incoherent when he was awake.  He was tossing and turning and moaning and groaning.  I felt so bad for his suffering!  I put his hand in mine, pulled out my rosary and began to pray that comfort would come soon.  I was about half-way through my prayers when Tom raised his arms as if to hug the thin air and asked “Grandma?”   He smiled, laid his head back down on the pillow and fell into a peaceful sleep for the next few hours.  I believe Jesus allowed him to see Grandma so she could comfort him and tell him of the mercy of God.   And I believe He allowed me to witness the event so my unsettled and questioning soul would also find some comfort.  What a gracious, wise, and generous Lord I serve!

While I never ‘met’ my sister Dorothy, she has been a great help to me, spiritually.  I like to say that she is my “twin” of sorts—my “Irish twin”.  Irish twins are children who are born less than a year apart.  I am 11 months older than Dorothy would have been.

One thing we hear about twins is that sometimes they share a sort of “sixth sense” bond.  They can be on opposite sides of the country when out of the blue, they both get an idea or thought at the same time.  Or one will be ill and the other will know it without being told.  Strange stuff, but ever since I found out about Dorothy, I’ve felt that sort of bond—by that I mean a “sixth sense” sort of bond.  It’s like she’s been charged by God with watching over her family from Heaven and praying for us when we need “saint-strength” prayers.  Her Original Sin was washed away by the sacrament of Baptism at the time of her delivery, so I believe with all my heart that she’s in Heaven right now, helping us through her prayers to grow closer to our Savior.  There have been many, many times in my life when I have faced doubts about my faith.  Then, a thought of Dorothy will intrude on my thoughts and erase my doubts. 

Thinking of and remembering my grandmother and my sister on their birthdays could become reminders of sadness and grief.  Instead, they’re a reminder to me of joy and hope.  God blesses our world through us.   We are the conduit of God’s love in our world.  What an honor that is!